A play for 3 people. Lose weight does not get up! Dramatic comedy
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Eleanor swallows her saliva, looks at her husband with hungry, offended eyes.
They exchange glances.
Kostya is chewing on a cake.
Kostya (triumphantly). That's it!
Eleanor steps aside, trying to let go of the situation and changing the subject. Grunting and groaning, he sits down on the sofa.
Eleanor (short of breath, hard, pausing to catch the air). Well… How are you doing… at work… Is everything okay?
Kostya (happily). Everything is wonderful! Two trucks were sent to St. Petersburg. An agreement was signed with the Finns. There are several more customers in Europe and…
Eleanor (interrupts, stopping her husband's story with a gesture of her hand). Understood-understood. In short, summarizing all this here …, we can state with full responsibility – you are handsome!
Kostya (happily, complacently). Without a doubt!
Eleanor is touched, looking at her husband. Quite exchange glances with mutual cunning.
Eleanor (playfully). Well… come here, handsome. Sit next to the fat aunt.
Eleanor pats the empty seat on the sofa next to her.
Kostya goes to his wife, sits down next to her, hugs her.
Kostya (smoothing the corners). Come on. How fat are you? Literally…, the most wonderful size. I've always appreciated your figure in you. To have something to take on, so to speak. And then this fashion… Look at you – look at what little girls are walking on the catwalks now. The legs are sticks, the handles are translucent. It's not that there's nothing to take on, it's scary to touch there – you won't pierce or break an hour. That's where the female power is. (He points to his wife, strokes her.) Where beauty lurks and natural charm.
Eleanor is thrilled, confused.
Eleanor (playfully). Come on…
Kostya (confidently). So don't tell me about fat aunts. Yes and… don't tell me about any of them at all. I love you. And what is there, where and from whom– I don't care.
Eleanor (mleya). Really?
Kostya (crossing himself). That's the cross!
Eleanor greedily grabs Kostya in her arms and, covering herself, begins to kiss him.
Partial blackout.
Musical lyrical background.
Scene 2. As always, not at the right time.
The music of the first scene subsides.
Eleanor and Kostya are trying in some not very clever way to move on to more decisive actions, logically following from everything that is happening above, but they are interrupted by Violetta's nasty voice.
Violetta (skeptically). Ding-ding…
Violetta enters.
Eleanor and Kostya discontentedly return to a decently seated position, look at the guest.
Violetta (not really worrying about her inappropriateness). Guys, really, when will you fix the bell?
Eleanor (displeased). Yes, Kostya fixed it a year ago. And you still won't learn how to use it!
Violetta (including the fool). And.. yes? About how. I didn't know. Mechanically, therefore, I entered. Well…, I will know now. And then… why should I call, on the other hand.
Violetta turns the keys to the door in her hand.
Eleanor (displeased). But by the way! Why do you have the keys to our house? I don't have the keys to your house, and mind you, I've never allowed myself to come to visit you without an invitation. And for some reason you allow yourself to do this, moreover, quite often.
Violetta (calmly, confidently). Everything is right. I'm not your sister, but Kostya. What's the big deal? I don't understand your feelings about this. If you were my sister, you would also open my door with a kick, I wouldn't even make a peep. And that's fine. So se la vie. Well… for interrupting you from an important lesson – for that, I humbly ask you to forgive me. I had an important reason for that.
Kostya (getting better, putting himself in order, getting up from the sofa.). Hello, Violetta. Did something happen to you?
Eleanor (nervously). It happened! Exactly what happened to me!
Kostya (attentively, cautiously). What?
Eleanor cautiously looks at Violetta, waiting for the disclosure of the intrigue.
Violetta (nervously, loudly, to Kostya and Eleanor). Why are you both staring at me? Don't you know that there's a shoe store sale today, what's underneath you?
Kostya (pointing down, looking at his wife). Is there a sale today?
Eleanor nods affirmatively to Kostya.
Kostya (turning back to his sister). Yes, there is a sale, we are aware. Well, so what?
Violetta (freaking out, waving her arms). Yes… Psh… I mean, what? I looked at three pairs of shoes for myself. They all fit me perfectly. But I don't have enough money for all three. So either give me an urgent loan, or come with me, tell me which ones to choose. I'll scrape together two pairs, but there's no way for three.
Kostya and Eleanor exchange confused glances.
Violetta (nervously). Guys-guys-guys!!! There's no time to be stupid. In general, give me the money and you can continue to do your obscenities here.
Eleanor (exhaling nervously, pulling her purse towards her). Yeah… I guess I'll have to pay you to leave.
Eleanor takes a few bills out of her purse and hands them to Violetta.
Eleanor (relatively calmly). Is that enough?
Violetta (accepting the money and counting it). Well…, give me more, don't squeeze! There's another fourth couple so pretty, well, so pretty…
Kostya takes out another bundle of money from their pocket, counts out a few more bills and gives it to his sister.