Escort For The Witch
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Father kept boring into me until a smile lit up his face, one that was promising nothing good.
“Excellent! It seems I’ve just found the solution to all our problems,” he said thoughtfully and, grabbing me by the collar, dragged me out of the stuffy office.
“No! I absolutely oppose this!” my mother screamed in horror, clutching her head when my father informed her that he was going to convert her greenhouse into my new home.
After two weeks of emotional torment, turmoil, and excruciating anguish, she agreed.
Out of respect for my mother’s feelings and her weeds, I asked my father to keep the greenhouse in its place and instead build a small extension out of the back wall.
So now, to get to my living room, you have to navigate through my personal mini jungle. And over time, I learned to understand biology myself and now grow my own “weeds”. As for my mother, she found solace in teaching chemistry and biology at the University of New Orleans, where she was invited to work immediately after my father’s “construction company” had signed a contract with the university to build and fully equip a new laboratory in building ‘A’, naturally at the company’s expense.
As for me, after finishing high school, I enrolled in the Department of Psychology at the University of New Orleans. But due to my parents’ constant complaints that I at any cost, should remain near our witch, I was transferred to the Department of Language and Literature a year later. Nobody had consulted me on this, of course. When I, in a fit of rage, burst into my father’s downtown office to express my thoughts on this matter, he, flashing a self-satisfied smile, handed me car keys. My car keys! A latest model, brand-new black Chevrolet Camaro. A gift from the Order as a token of appreciation for my “sacrifice”. I, like anyone else in my shoes, took the keys and instantly became the most ardent fan of literature. It wasn’t difficult, I had always enjoyed reading.
I remember how proudly Grandpa looked at me when I first pulled up at his house in the new luxurious car, to give Eric and this little devil a ride to the university.
My friend whistled, only managing one simple yet succinct remark.
“Well, well, well!”
Grandpa chuckled and turned to Eric.
“Good work is always appreciated, isn’t it, Jack?” he said, more with his eyes, and gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder.
Eric pursed his lips and scanned the interior as he settled into the passenger seat.
And then she came out of the house… She was wearing a short cherry red dress with straps and a plunging neckline that complemented her chest perfectly.The black high-heeled shoes made her already slender legs look even more beautiful.
Her long dark hair framed her pale face in soft waves, sharply outlining her cheekbones. Fire blazed in her blue eyes. She looked reproachfully first at me, then at her traitorous brother, who was trying hard to ignore her presence. She frowned and strode past us with an air of superior indifference.
“Need a lift?” I asked, making a titanic effort to make the question sound as polite and casual as possible.
“No, thanks. I’m riding with Claire,” Sabrina replied coldly and headed towards her friend’s old, wheezing Ford parked nearby. Eric chuckled strangely and stared out the window, as if not noticing that I was deeply hurt by such disrespect towards my new, freshly off the assembly line ‘girlfriend’.
And now a few words about Claire…
Claire – the most primitive creature that ever existed on planet Earth. At least, I haven’t met any else like her. Quite simple intellectually and unremarkable physically. She speaks first and thinks later, if she thinks at all… However, this doesn’t prevent her from being an amusing and cheerful person. It’s strange that she should have befriended someone as snobbish and arrogant as our witchy
“princess”…
Sabrina got into Claire’s car and they drove off, but not before Claire had blown her horn excitedly to say she found my new ride extremely cool. We drove to the university in silence; the mood had been expertly spoiled by a certain someone we all knew.
So, let’s sum it all up. At the age of twenty-four, I live in a quirky greenhouse house, own a splendid car, and a slightly crazy but brave cat… The cat! I nearly forgot to mention that I am an official and proud owner of a cat named Gigantor, whom I had found and rescued from a sewer on Toulouse Street. He had been rather bad and almost ready to depart this world, but still managed to pull through.
His eyes are like spinning saucers and his color a strange brownish-black; he is unapologetically obese for his breed, and has a disturbing habit of eating toothpaste.
The first time I had caught him in the act I got so scared and I rushed him to the nearest vet clinic. It’s not every day that you see your cat drop dead on the floor, literally foaming at the mouth. I was ready to swear on the Bible that my cat was
having an epileptic seizure until I smelled the sharp scent of mint. Every month now, consistently, I find a partially bitten, sometimes heavily chewed, tube of toothpaste. And Gigantor writhes in “terrifying agony of paste-plexis seizures.”
Having observed him for many years, I can confidently say that he gets a certain thrill from it. Occasionally, he has bouts of inexplicable heroism, and secretly watching how passionately and courageously my cat attacks the sprinklers installed in the greenhouse, I can assert with all responsibility that in his past life, Gigantor was none other than a brave and valiant warrior fiercely attacking a mortal enemy…
So, that’s how we live, me and my apathetic, toothpaste-eating cat warrior, alone in a greenhouse, surrounded by bushes. What else? Oh yes, the number of piercings in my ears has reached three. I got new tattoos. Also in stock: a best friend who’s a drunkard, his sister who’s a witch, but showing no hint of any gift whatsoever, an ancient Order, and…
The door to the lecture hall creaked softly and pulled me out of my self-analysis that would have made both Schopenhauer and Nietzsche feel jealous and lacking.
I raised my head, trying to make out the person who had so boldly interrupted my philosophical reflections. It was she, and she was late. Naturally. Lately, that’s all she’s been doing, being late. My curiosity satisfied, I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes.
“Sorry for being late,” Sabrina said in a quiet, low voice; it trembled, betraying a slight nervousness. “Well, well,” I thought, “someone is worried about missing out on learning” So, she does have a sense of duty after all, just probably buried so deep inside her that she herself doesn’t even know it exists.