Finding the Ground Beneath the Feet
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I woke up in the hospital again. How did I know that? By the smell and the squeaking next to me. I thought that I must be dead again… I wondered if I was still Frau Schmidt or if my name was different now. When I opened my eyes, I saw Herman. He was sitting next to me and caressing my head. So, the Stillers hadn’t been taken away from me. It made me feel some warmth. My
«You gave us a scare today, kitten,» Herman said. He did it very affectionately, by the way. «I’ll get Daddy now, and then we’ll go home, eh?»
«Yes,» I whispered, catching his hand. «Can I… have you by my side?»
Maybe he didn’t want to stay, and I was forcing him to? But I needed it so much – there were no words to describe it!
«Of course, I’ll be there for you because you’re my fiancee.»
He said this word as if it were real, not fake. It made me want to cry again.
«I love you,» I told him.
The «fiance» just smiled and replied that everything would be fine. I believed him because it was Herman.
A little later, they sucked the blood out of me, and then they fed me and started taking me for X-rays and putting me into such a big ring that was loud and scary. Strangely, it felt like I had become very small. I hoped it would pass, although I didn’t want it to. Dad brought a special collar, put it around my neck, and told me not to take it off or it would be very bad. But I decided to be obedient, didn’t I? So I told Daddy I was obedient, even though I couldn’t nod now. But it was easier to breathe, even when the mask was removed to feed me. Herman fed me because I was his kitten, he said so himself. It was so warm to be someone else’s…
After that, we drove home. Herman said we would sleep together now because we were the bride and groom, but I figured out why. If the caretakers hit hard, there might be nightmares at night, and waking up in the hospital every day would be bad for anyone. And I didn’t want Mum and Dad to get bored… And I didn’t want Herman to get bored… Because I probably wouldn’t be able to make it without him. How little time had passed, and he’d already become dearer to me than anything else. Why was it like that? I didn’t know…
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