Impuls

Aster

Chapter 12

I'm tired of being afraid of you.

it's the finish line.

Let's call it a draw.

If I fall in love again

shoot me,

– You know, when I first finished my internship, I was assigned to assist some surgeon. So there was a team of ten, and when he said "scalpel," all ten of them repeated like idiots: "Scalpel. Then the surgeon was like, "Clamp!" and then they were like, "Clamp, clamp, clamp…"

– That's so you don't forget what you need, genius.

– Genius, genius, genius…

– Can you saw in silence?

– Tell my ex-wife that," Riley mutters. – Dissecting tissue.

The surgeon's entire craniotomy operation takes no more than thirty minutes: Sara silently, without comment, hands him the instruments; now the tissue is removed, a dilator is placed, auxiliary openings are made. The sharp sound of a saw, and the smell of sawed bone hits my nose.

Emily forceps pick up a fragment of skull, dips it into a bath of special solution, returns it to its place – in perfect synchrony Clark and Gilmore seal the bleeding vessels. The smell of burned flesh and heated metal.

– Current.

More than anything, Emily fears her hands will start to shake; but, contrary to her fears, she holds on even more than firmly: handing over the device, casting a glance at the socket, another at the screen. She can't catch Clark's attention: the neurosurgeon is fully immersed in the Leica while Gilmore talks to Harmon.

– Clamping and taking off at once with a hat.

Emily prepares for coagulation: she serves a small, film-wrapped laser; Sarah puts a gauze drain, blotting it out, Gilmore laments that we can't use a dilator – that would make the access area even larger.

The gauze is barely changed in time: the amount of blood in the area decreases too slowly; some of the many vessels are too thin for the laser and bleed desperately.

– It sucks," Gilmore concludes.

– Let's not go back, it's about twenty minutes of work," Clark says. – Dry it.

Sarah removes the thin tube from the machine once more, presses the button with her foot; the drainage machine begins to vibrate, taking in air; a little further away, Gilmore already places the clamps that have been applied, stopping the blood flow on the neoplasm.

– I laser," Clark says. – We'll clean at different stages, what's at risk, we'll scrape out by hand. That's it, we can close.

The pungent smell that hits her nose makes Emily's eyes go dark for a second, and both Clark and Gilmore stick to the eyepieces of the Leica. Johnson sees all their manipulations on the screen: here's Clark picking up the tumor, and here the beam of the laser scalpel flashes, illuminating the image with red light. Gilmore deftly rakes the affected areas and tosses them into the cuvette, the very small remnants picked up by Sarah's drain.

Emily sighs: it seems there is no more work for her – so she takes the metal container, changing it for another; she watches: Clark acts quickly, almost sharply, clearly moving around the neoplasm – from edge to center, as if carving a snowflake.

This goes on for about twenty minutes – under the reddish-white tumor the affected part of the brain becomes visible, and Emily hurriedly delivers a coagulant laser – Sarah, standing next to Gilmore, personally "glues" the rest of the vessels.

From the second lap, everyone switches places, and the drainage goes to Emily – she puts the tube on the other side, watching the screens carefully: she has almost no access to the wound directly, but she still confidently places the traction on the bleeding areas. And so they walk in a chain: Clark in front with the laser scalpel, followed by Gilmore, also with the laser, but with less power, Sarah with the neurosurgical tweezers and Emily with the drainage, as if picking up the dust left by them.

– Finishing up," Clark announces, getting to the tiniest spot. – Plague. How's that? By hand?

– Fi, how rude. – Riley hands the laser back to Sarah. – Get the micron ready.

The Microspeed UNI ultrasonic scalpel doesn't fit in any way with the white color of the operating room: bright blue stem, wrapped yellow wire, red display border. Emily adjusts it to Harmon's data in seconds: minimally invasive nozzle, single eights and zeros; hands it to Clark, who's been waiting longer than a moment; and gets back to her side with her elbows to her ribs.

– Be gentle with her," Gilmore purrs.

Emily, remembering Kemp's fussing over the Leica, is no longer surprised by anything – that doctors are in love with their instruments has never been a mystery to her.

– I will," Clark assures her, and presses the pedal.

She carefully polishes the area like a tooth filling, constantly adjusting the power with the foot pedal, moving from the middle to the edges.

In front of Emily's eyes, the swelling shrinks, becomes barely noticeable, and then disappears altogether: the drainage instantly takes in any remaining particles, preventing them from spreading; Sarah blows out the area once more, Gilmore prepares to put everything back in place.

– Wonderful," the surgeon says, looking at the screens. – Let's close it up.

A satisfied Clark pulls away from the Leica for a second, handing Emily the Micron, and suddenly shrieks.

The curved metal ball-shaped nozzle glistens in the light of the shadowless lamps for a second, there's a whirring sound, then the sound of the instrument falling onto the tiles, and the sleeve of her robe is soaked in blood in an instant.

Clark stands frozen, holding his hand palm up, blood trickling from the damaged skin to the floor in a thin stream, lingering just a little on the pieces of torn glove.