Between two mountains

Borges Juan Gabriel

One – is always one, and nothing but the one

But it takes two to create the beginning of the one

That day, towards evening he didn’t know where to go after work. Since he divorced his wife and longed to see his daughter, life lost its meaning. The tables of the tea-house near theatre “Nizami” were outside. Two men were drinking tea sitting under the tree seemed to come from a different reality. It seemed that he was not living in the same city with those guys indolently drinking their teas under the shade and playing backgammon.

He couldn’t find an empty place. He entered a nearly located used books shop. For a long time he didn’t visit bookshops. He had forgotten which book he had read recently. The atmosphere of the bookshops attracted him when he studied in Moscow. What luck that he entered the bookshop, he felt good, he felt young and hale like he was in student years. In fact, he still was “a student”. He always had some small change in his pocket, and always daydreamed. People like him are often called “eternal students.”

The salesman was looking at him attentively, as if he was watching him. He wondered which books he will encounter. Then his glance fell on a poetry book. – Oh, my God! This is an Indian poet – Ashok Vajpeyi. A photo of a young man wearing glasses was pictured at the cover of a pocketbook. Under the photo it was written:

“Ashok Vajpeyi was born in 1941. He is the head of the Academy of “Lalit Kala”, that is to say the Head of Academy of Fine Arts. He was awarded the name of the commander of the French art and literature. Ashok Vajpeyi is one of the talented representatives of the trend of “new poetry”. His poems have been translated into some Asian and European languages”.

He began again to dream about India. Taj-Mahal palace …And his first love.

His heart gave a leap. He looked outside through the window and saw an empty place in the tea-house. He bought Ashok Vajpeyi’s book of poems and rushed out of the shop.

–

Come again! – The salesman said.

He opened a book on the random page and read the first poem he came across:

My words

Touched you

Like a light wind,

Like sun beams,

Without being felt.

The buds of the words

Faded before blossoming

Fine smelling of the faded words

Disappeared all of a sudden

On the branches of tree named you.

What a happy man was Ashok Vajpeyi. What a beautiful poem was he able to write, able to express his feelings… He never wrote even one hemistich during all his life. In fact, he never thought about writing a poem. But now, while sitting under a tree behind theatre “Nizami” and drinking tea, dreaming about India he regretted that he wasn’t able to write. He felt sorry for himself.

–I feel sorry for you, Masud Ibrahimzade…

***

He woke up to someone’s angrily slam closing the door. He jumped out of his bed and looked at the pendulum clock on the wall; it was a quarter to eleven. In a hurry he stretched out his hand to his clothes thrown on the chair. Hastily he wore his trousers; his heart was beating fast because of anxiety and waking up suddenly. His blood pressure has definitely risen. If only he wasn’t late for work…

Suddenly he noticed the honorary order on the bookshelf. He chewed his lips for a moment with sorrow, and then relaxed. Only now, while seeing the honorary order he remembered that since yesterday he is retired. The honorary order which he had put behind the glass on the bookshelf had been signed by the head of the Criminal Investigation Department. On behalf of the Ministry he was thanked for his thirty year activity. He sat on the bed, and threw the shirt he was going to wear on the sofa. But it appeared that his retiring wasn’t to Jannah’s content. While leaving she slammed the door so that he understood how angry she was.

Deep in his heart he justified Jannah. Is there any woman who agrees with her husband’s retiring and sitting at home all day long? Especially in this age… Fifty one year isn’t old age. He should not offend Jannah. If Jannah leaves him…well, what to do. It is right, Jannah is too plump. As a woman she isn’t so attractive. But it is better than to live alone, all by himself. He is not smart – now it isn’t the Soviet’s time, the borders are open. He had to take a holiday and go to India. He should have found Kaushari whom he could never forget, and tell her that he was going mad because of her. He would tell her that though many years passed, he still loved her. Maybe Kaushari wouldn’t remember him. Kaushari saw a lot of tourists every day. And all of them were from different countries. Would she remember Masud? If Jannah didn’t live with him he would collect his pension money and would somehow go to India. But he shouldn’t brake up with Jannah.

He would be reproached. They would tell that Zibeyde couldn’t bear because he didn’t earn enough money; she and his daughter Sabina lived half starved, half satisfied. That was why one day she collected all she could take with her and said: “Most of the men in your age are with position. They have much money. Do you think all of them have relatives at high posts supporting them? No, of course, not. Simply, they are not as stupid as you. All day long you are in the streets, in the cities. You search for a swindler. You never celebrated New Year at your home. Each year you are on duty in the office. You can’t demand your rights. Isn’t there anybody except you? I feel shy to tell anybody that my husband is a captain. When I see young boys become generals, how can I tell that my good-for-nothing husband isn’t even a major, not a general? ”

High pitched voice of Zibeyde tingled in his ears. He grabbed his head. Each time when Zibeyde’s shouting tingled in his ears his mind shook up. In fact, it was thus since the first day of their marriage. Since the morning of the wedding he began to hear that odd voice. Zibeyde spoke over telephone loudly too. How happy Masud became when Sabina was born. He had promised himself to bring her up as the happiest girl of the world. Because she is a girl. She is a guest at home, as one day she will leave for her husband’s house. She should not hear the word “no”. She should be brought up as a lady. She should get good education. As if Sabina was his breath. He thought that his small daughter was the best gift of the Great God to him. He had a lot of optimistic wishes and plans connected with Sabina. After he divorced with Zibeyde, though he was reproached he could find time to rush to Sabina’s school and see his daughter. Day after day he could feel how his daughter becomes colder and colder towards him. During the first days when Zibeyde left home taking Sabina with her, Masud missed Sabina too much. Every day he woke up crying bitterly saying “Sabina”. At court he told that he passes his house to his daughter. The home in which he was living now was the home his parents lived once. Approximately for a year he went to school to see his daughter. But one day he saw Zibeyde coming out from the chief’s office. As soon as Zibeyde left, the chief called him and informed: – Masud, your wife complained that you were going to kidnap your daughter. She says that you instigate your daughter against her mother. She says that if you go to see your daughter once more she will complain and try to get you to jail. Be careful. Your wife is too aggressive.

After that event captain Masud Ibrahimzade went to school to see his daughter Sabina but he could feel how his daughter grew cold to him. The last time when he went to school he saw how Sabina ran towards classroom seeing him. He turned back and wanted to leave the school, he saw Zibeyde at the gate. Even now he can remember the insulting words of Zibeyde. Since that time neither he could forget Zibeyde’s words nor his daughter Sabina. Masud who wanted to console himself somehow, would never forgive himself for losing Sabina. Zibeyde could be able to make Sabina lose interest to him. Even if he married Kaushari and they had five or six daughters or four sons Sabina was dearest to him. The wound in Masud’s heart would never be recovered. Now there was neither Sabina nor Zibeyde near him. Only Jannah was near him….