How to get married and not to get divorced in a couple of months. Manual for newlyweds
Шрифт:
Eugene was a cheerful, handsome and generous man.
His arrival in the small village of N. was noticed by all the girls and women, and in spite of the fact that he was married, Eugene was very popular.
He led the construction of the church, often stayed at work, he had no time to return to Moscow, and therefore, Eugene spent the night a local deacon’s home. Deacon's young daughter Nadezhda, realizing that this was a chance to get out of poverty, began to woo him. Eugene did not have to persuade for a long time, and he began living in two families: one in Moscow and the other one in the village of N.
Six months later Nadezhda discovered with «surprise» that she was pregnant and all the terms for an abortion had already passed. She told Eugene about it. He made a promise to help her to raise the baby. The child was born, the construction was over… Seven years passed. Eugene continued to visit the second family, but did it less and less. And then Nadezhda decided to take matters into her own hands and announced that it was time to go to school for a child, but there was no school in the village, so he, Eugene, had to make the child go to study in the hero city of Moscow.
At that time, the question of registration was strictly, and Eugene had to confess to the double life of his legitimate wife and ask her to register her second son in a Moscow apartment. After listening to him she became indignant and demanded a divorce. They broke up.
Eugene married the second time, and the family seemed to be reunited. But the problem was only one – the son. When a scandal arose, the son always rose to the defense of his mother and shouted at his father that when he was not with them, they lived well and peacefully. The father objected to his son:
«I brought you everything: a balyk, and caviar, and money!». But he constantly heard the answer: «I remember balyk and caviar, but I don’t remember you». And he had absolutely nothing to answer, the mother raised her son in constant reminder that she was a family for him, she was a person he could rely on, everything depended on her: where they lived and what they did, and the father was the phenomenon of «coming – and – going out». What kind of affection and love could there be?
The son was very jealous of his mother, and every year this jealousy did not pass, but intensified. The older the son became, the more unbearable it was to hear derogatory words at him. Eugene understood that he had made a fatal mistake, including the fact that Nadezhda’s father was an alcoholic: at the age of 20 his son began to drink. And most importantly, during the formation of the psyche of his child, his father was not there and he would never be for his son neither a friend nor authority, but only an “ATM” to serve the needs of his son and wife.
That is why I urge you not to rush and think carefully about this difficult decision. And for this, get acquainted with the methods of contraception, which will protect you from unwanted pregnancy of a woman with whom you are not ready to have children.
Chapter 8
Male contraceptive methods. Condom – a savior from the ruined life?
The guy with the girl are having sex.
Girl:
– Dear, you just take care of me and protects from the pregnancy…
Guy (shouting):
– Take care!..
Definitely open, friendly relations between loving people are the best method of protection from unwanted pregnancy, where he and she together decide that they are not ready to have children yet, and they protect themselves together: he uses male contraceptive methods, and she uses female ones. And no one catches and deceives anyone. But such a situation is not always the case, so here are some tips supported by science and practice:
1. The safest and most effective is the use of a condom. It not only protects against unwanted pregnancy, but is also a reliable remedy for venereal diseases. Through the use of a condom the sensitivity of the penis is reduced and prolonged due to this sexual intercourse. There are isolated cases of complaints of latex allergy, but the best recommendation may be the additional use of high-quality lubricant.
2. The interruption of sexual intercourse is in second place among the methods of male contraception according to statistics. But we must remember: it is not only a reliable means of protection from pregnancy (its reliability is about 78%), but also does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Moreover, many men who have used this method for a long time, complained of a decrease in libido. And we should not forget about the knowledge of the woman's ovulation days, when the risk of unwanted pregnancy is especially high. It is necessary to protect carefully and it is better to eliminate sexual contact within seven days before ovulation and five days after completely.
3. If you already have two or more children and you decide that you don’t need any more, then you can use a surgical method of contraception – vasectomy. This is a quick operation that is performed within half an hour, and in two or three months after it is completed, there is no need for other methods of contraception. It is quite expensive, but its efficiency reaches 99%. But it must be remembered that the danger of sexually transmitted diseases remains!
4. Nowadays a new word has emerged in male contraception – male contraceptive pills. They contain sex hormones and contribute to the increase of testosterone in the blood, which, in turn, prevents the formation of sperm. This method of contraception is urgent, and if a man stops taking sex hormones, then his child-bearing function returns. However, the side effects of taking such drugs have not been studied yet, and therefore nothing can be said about this method of contraception. They are still undergoing clinical trials.
The same can be said about the novelty – the male contraceptive implant. It is a hormone-containing capsule that is inserted under the skin and inhibits the production of sperm, thereby reducing the fertility of a man for some time. But this method also does not guarantee reliable protection from pregnancy, and it can be harmful to men’s health.
I am silent about the lack of protection from numerous sexually transmitted infections.
Thus, the following can be said about male contraception: the most effective means is a condom at present, as well as an excellent knowledge of the physiology and work of the woman’s body with whom you spend your sex life. Therefore, learn to quickly and deftly use this reliable tool, plus “Miramistin” to help you, and sleep in peace as a baby's dream!
And if you cannot sleep peacefully? What to do if you are eager to have intercourse? There are different ways to reduce libido for a while.
1. Change in diet
Your task is to remove products that contribute to the development of the male sex hormone, testosterone, from your diet and increase the level of the female, estrogen. Therefore, try to eat less poultry, nuts, spices, dairy products, seafood, chocolate, as they stimulate potency.
On the contrary, increase the consumption of salt and sugar, smoked meats, beer, foods with soy, coffee, fatty meats, foods with a high cholesterol content – this is fast food, various pastries, soybean, corn and flaxseed oil (you should drink seven or eight tablespoons a day, adding a little lemon juice), various energetics and effervescent sugary drinks.
It is believed that the main enemy of potency is also alcohol, especially beer, which contains a lot of estrogen, a female sex hormone. However, if you consume too much alcohol, you can not only permanently get rid of sexual addiction, but also acquire a new addiction, alcohol, as well as problems with the liver and heart. Therefore, I would react with caution specifically to this advice.
2. Active sports can really help you. Full-fledged work with “iron” in the gym or long-distance running in summer, skiing in winter, group classes and team games – football, volleyball, basketball, etc. – will not only strengthen your body, but also make it strong and hardy. Serious classes cause severe fatigue, so your body will require rest and sex will be much less desirable.
3. During this period, various herbs, which can be simply brewed and taken during the day, help well. Mint, lemon balm, and St. John's wort have a sedative and light hypnotic effect, gently reducing the tone of the whole body.
4. There are also pharmaceutical industry tools that also reduce libido well, such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, blood pressure lowering drugs, as well as such drugs as Cimetidine, Finasteride, Omeprazole, Spirono-lactone, Disulfiram, but they can only be prescribed by the attending the physician after passing the necessary research and testing, because they can have a negative effect on your body and have a number of contraindications.
Why do I describe all this in such details to you? Look around. How many people living together are happy? I'm sure you will say that you can count them on your fingers. Moreover, according to the United Nations Demographic Yearbook, which includes global statistics on divorces, we are the leaders in this area: Russia has the largest number of divorces in the world! There are five divorces for one thousand people in our country, this is absolute leadership. These are unhappy children, who do not know and do not know how to create their full-fledged families in their turn, these are unhappy adults, lonely and often useless old people.
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