Plays on the 5,6,7,8,9,10 people. Collection №4
Шрифт:
from UNDER the BED: (short, indignant): Ahem-ahem…
Philip turns around, not UNDERSTANDING what it was just now.
Yulia immediately begins to clear her throat, trying to make her voice as rough as possible.
JULIA: I've been waiting for you so much, hoping so much, I couldn't say a word because of the experience of our separation, my voice sank completely. But this is nothing, the most important thing is that my (loudly, addressing under the bed) WOMEN'S FUNCTIONS ARE NOT OTRAFIROVALIS IN RELATION TO ONE MAN FROM THESE AWKWARD CIRCUMSTANCES!
Philip hugs Julia gently, carefully stroking her on the back.
PHILIPP: (gently, carefully) My girl, I had no idea that our separation was so painful for you. Do you really love me that much?
YULECHKA: (recoiling, looking into her eyes) Are you still in doubt? Yes, I'm already pounding all over with emotions and separation! With you, I generally have every time as the first time. I didn't even know it happened.
PHILIPP: (guiltily) I'm sorry, my girl, I blurted out without thinking. You're really shaking all over. Here, take the flowers, the ones you love.
Philip gives the girl flowers, she shows that she was offended, but accepts the flowers, goes with them to the kitchen, dubbing Philip a biased look.
Philip shakes his head guiltily, showing his disappointment in himself, and covers his mouth with his hand.
Takes off his jacket and sits down at the table.
PHILIPP: (loudly, sucking up) Yule? Really, how long have we been Dating?
From somewhere behind the door jamb, Yulia's frightened face looks out.
PHILIPP: (loudly, fawning) My love, we're probably already celebrating our anniversary! For…
JULIA: (interrupts, doesn't let me finish) Five minutes you're already tearing my heart out! For five minutes, Pilecka, well, what does it matter now? Hold me quickly, can't you see how much I'm yearning? Enough words, run to the shower and get down to business, otherwise I'm just going to tear apart from the tension!
Philip jumps up happily, grabs something from the table, shoves it into his mouth as he goes, and tries to unbutton his shirt in the process.
JULIA: (moans, dripping sexy down the closet) Rather cute, rather!!!
Philip excitedly grunts, gestures something to himself, runs off to the bathroom.
The girl sees that he is gone, whispers in the direction of the bed, corresponding to the situation by changing the intonation.
YULECHKA: (in a whisper, to her lover) You've got three minutes to get ready, come on, get laid!
A man starts to get out from under the bed, a door slams from the bathroom, and Philip quickly returns to the room without his shirt. He smiles affectionately and flirts.
The man fussily crawls back under the bed. Philip doesn't notice him.
PHILIPP: Sorry, another bite, I'm so hungry, I just had a Cup of tea at work, and everything here is so delicious.
He grabs something from the table and puts it in his mouth.
Yulechka runs up to Philip, passionately stroking his back, scratching his stomach with her claws, moaning.
JULIA: (very sexy) Yleaaaa, I can not, rather, in the shower, rather. Let's go there together, and we'll eat later…
Yulechka drags Philip into the bathroom, and a man hastily, cautiously crawls out from under the bed, grabs his things, and leaves the apartment.
ZTM.
PHILIP'S HOUSE
Yana is sitting in a chair, knitting something, listening to music in large headphones. She looks quite presentable, this is not a typical housewife. Makeup, manicure, hairstyle, high – heeled shoes, dress is not at home. She closes her eyes from time to time, listening to the musical motifs and getting great pleasure from them, dances, bringing out the rhythm with the movements of her head.
The door opens and a grim-faced Philip enters. His wife doesn't see him, and he doesn't look at his wife. He takes off his jacket, hangs it on a hanger at the entrance, takes out his mobile phone, scrolls through something, puts the phone away with a dejected expression, and, taking a step towards the room, suddenly freezes in confusion, looking at his wife.
His wife does not see him, she is interested in knitting and music.
PHILIPP: (in doubt) Dear?
The wife does not hear, only dances to herself and knits.
PHILIPP: (loud) Yana?
The wife starts in surprise, takes off her headphones, but continues knitting.
YANA: (calmly, without emotion) what are you making noise about?.. What happened?
PHILIPP: (thoughtfully) No, it's just… Are you waiting for someone? the
Wife looks at her husband strangely, the husband looks at his wife strangely.
YANA: (angrily) What's going on?
: (jealously) Yes, nothing starts. It's just that the husband suddenly returns from a business trip, and the wife, you know, is sitting all dressed up, in heels, listening to music, knitting, getting high. How should I react to all this? (Shouts) What's going on in my house?
YANA: (calmly) Hmm… so if the wife is sitting at home not as a chuvyrla, but as a woman, if she gets high, then she is already in fact to blame for something?
PHILIP: (jealous, shouting) Yes!
YANA: (angrily) Hmm.
PHILIP: (jealous, shouting) There are no happy wives! If the wife is happy, it means that there is some parasite that makes her happy behind her husband's back. (Shouts) Where is he?
Philip begins to rush around the apartment, looking for a lover. The wife sits quietly in a chair knitting, puts on an earpiece, continues to have fun.