Следуй сердцу. Follow your heart
Шрифт:
The book? What is it like? What kind of hero is it describing and why it should be read? Mostly the book is needed by the author. This is the only way for him or her to indentify oneself in this word maze. What is it like – fairytale or poetry, a legend or the truth, chaos or a withering philosophy? The most important thing in life is to learn to hear and contemplate, to see and to create, to feel and not to judge, to be grateful and true to oneself, to be in chime with oneself and with the Universe.
In search of truth people wedge themselves in a “black square” and forget that life is flowing as a river, and it’s impossible to see the same drop in the same watercourse. The fear. It’s breaking the consciousness, making the path wandering and deserted, making the life empty. The fears. They implicate us into fantasy’s furious dancing and even the tiniest part of it can start the fire capable to ruin entire cities.
What is inside the book? What is it about? Who needs it? At least those people who love me and who wish to be heard. The nature gives a human everything he needs. That is the idea of life – to preserve and to comprehend, to preserve and to multiply, to preserve and to create – with a warmth in soul and heat in heart. A heart – I pronounce the word so often that one can thing I can’t express myself in other ways. It’s far from true. Everything I compose and feel went through the life and art books of Fedor Mikhailovich. He’s my teacher, once I said it during my final research paper defense and as the time passes I can’t refuse the idea.
Однажды
Идея создать свои дневники живет во мне с тех пор, как я осознанно помню себя. Это не значит писать о себе, а раздумывать над тем, для чего я создана и для чего все создано вокруг. Иногда это полезный опыт, иногда депрессивный, но всегда – нужный. Это всегда ответ на вопрос: а был ли шаг и куда он привел. Жизнь идет – в ней много и мало. Но точно знаю, что мир вокруг нас – это летопись, которую мы придумываем сами. И именно это мне хочется сказать, мой читатель. Сказать то, что я не случайно родилась и мне очень хочется быть достойной и нужной этому миру.
Once in Saint-Petersburg after the local authors gathering an old woman came up to me, gave me a firm handshaking and said: “My dear child, thanks for your existence”. That evening she needed me. There’s someone else in the world who needs me… my poetry to be close to them. I know this feeling very well – when heart is beating fast, but the cause is not the love’s dawn, but a possible or a real bereavement – irretrievable. I refuse being alone when such moments come. My heart is sincere, but sincerity is the prop that upholds not just the person having it inside. This prop supports other people as well. I’m thankful to you for opening my book and for your attempts to understand me and maybe yourself.
The idea of keeping diaries has been following me since I consciously remember myself. I didn’t think of writing about myself, but I reflected of what I and everything around me were created for. Sometimes this experience is useful, sometimes it is depressive, but anyway it’s necessary. It contains the answer to the question: did I make a step and what did it lead me to? The life is going on – we feel lack of something, something is in plenty. But I know for sure, that the world around us is a chronicle created by ourselves. And that’s the thing I would like to express, my reader. To say, that my birth was not an accident and I eager to be worthy and needful in this world.
You can find lots of inexactitudes in my book, but behind it there’s a rough ocean and only those with eyes wide open and pure soul can plunge in it. At Paco Rabanna’s sketch exhibition he told me: “I see you’ve got three eyes. Open all of them!” Maybe after I have my book published I’ll open the door that I couldn’t see before.
Some time ago Sergey Mikhailovich Slominsky invited me to his soiree in Hermitage theatre. In several minutes after the show started I heard songs with my rhymes in them… It’s hard to explain what my feelings at that moment. I realized once again how many-sided can be a human soul and how different is our perception of the same things… certainly, if we want to percept them!
One outstanding person once said: “Changing your consciousness, you create your own Universe”. My reader, follow the call of your heart…
В
Не так давно Сергей Михайлович Слонимский пригласил меня в Эрмитажный театр на свой творческий вечер. Прошло несколько минут, и я вдруг услышала романсы на мои стихи… Трудно описать чувства, которые я испытала. Я еще раз поняла, как многогранна человеческая душа и как по-разному мы видим и слышим одно и то же… если, конечно, хотим увидеть и услышать!
Один по-настоящему великий человек сказал: «Изменяя свое сознание, Вы создаете свою Вселенную». Мой читатель, следуйте зову сердца…
I saw my wonderful dreamland
I saw my wonderful dreamland during the night. Full moon lighted up my way. I heard a voice in shadowy note and wanted to listen from day to day… and now I see that skillful world in mind with distinct way of thinking for eyes. I’m feeling the mystery of nature and wind. That authority opened
my heart… day to day.
Дневник…
Дневник… в нем тысячи желаний, любовь, разлука и печаль. В нем тысячи преград и ожиданий, в нем сила и мольба моя. Я не хотела, право, бредить и посягать на честь души, в нем лишь осколок части тела, ответ на смуту прежних лет.
Бегут секунды, время прячет частицы сладких и больных, забытых и желанных масок в игре, чье имя жизнь! Стихи – предвестник ли, итог ли? Сосуд ли это пустоты… или законченная проза, иль грань меж веком золотым? Вы не судите строже жизни! Напомнить лишь хотела я о той слезинке, той свободе, что затерялась, миг тая!