Womb Bloom
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For conception to take place a woman must trust her chosen one on a deep level; her egg cell must confide in him to let the sperm cell into her palace. Surrounded by a protective layer, the egg must open up, and finally give in to allow the winner to penetrate her inner chambers.
I was once with a man who dreamed of getting me pregnant but I knew that it wouldn’t happen with him because deep inside myself I didn’t want to. I didn’t trust him and therefore my female centre was closed off from him. No matter how hard he tried, nothing happened.
Woman’s gift
On an intuitive level every woman feels that she has something inside herself, somewhere in the centre of her womb, a type of gift which mustn’t be used just anyhow but which needs to be protected, stored and strengthened for a feat – for the right moment in her life. And that right moment is to give life to a new being and create a spiritual revolution.
My mentors would tell me this about choosing a man who would be the future father of my child: “Sometimes it pays to be patient and wait as long as it takes to find a real diamond in the mountains instead of picking up the stones that you meet on your way.”
A woman needs to take care of herself from childhood to be able to conceive strong and healthy children.Patience is a feminine quality. It’s such a wonderful quality that sometimes it becomes a safety ring in the future ocean of temptation, a safety cushion protecting us from fatal consequences.
By developing patience in yourselves you build up female power. This quality will become your trusty helper during motherhood when you will have a small screaming bundle in your hands, which keeps asking for something day and night, crying, and no one except for you can calm him down.
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We have simply stopped valuing and respecting ourselves as women. Maybe we were taught this? Fashion, adverts, ‘new’ trends… We have become impatient and so sickeningly easy to get, and maybe so unhappy because of that.
Every time when the temptation is great, just think about the fact that right now you are giving away a little piece of your power to this man, power which could give you strong progeny, inspire you to produce a masterpiece or lead to a spiritual breakthrough.
What are you doing it for? A good party? To get with the times?
Trust me, it’s not worth a drop of what you will lose.
Take care of yourselves, bereginyas!1 – female quality to take care of the family
Every time after a chance connection a woman intuitively feels that she has lost something, that she has given something away gratuitously and dirtied herself. Many even want to wash everything off under the shower as fast as possible. Sometimes a woman can feel deep regret when she realizes that all of this was just for pleasure and there will be no continuation. Those who say that they don’t feel anything, that everything was great and both sides got what they wanted have maybe lost touch with their bodies long ago and stopped loving themselves.
Women who have had many sexual relations often come to my seminars. Inside myself I feel tears coming: “Why are they destroying themselves as women so recklessly, rushing to become aged, their faces covered with wrinkles of mature disappointments, and to lose their innocent and carefree beauty?” The self-destruction programme begins from early on, when a woman recklessly gets rid of her beautiful long hair for a boyish cut and pulls on tight jeans which constrict her stomach.
Why are we women prone to surround ourselves with secrets, stories veiled in mist, and create an aureole of obscurity around ourselves? This is a kind of intuitive protection – to hide behind a thousand doors of your secrets waiting for the only one, the one who is worthy to walk through each of them up to the very last one…
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Jonny was the first man I trusted and could give myself up to completely. I allowed my egg cell to open up and let in his masculine particle inside it. Fusion, an explosion, fireworks! At that second I was the most relaxed woman in the world.
On the outside everything was as it always was; the sun, sea, beach, the regularity of summer weather during Egypt’s winter. But from that minute a new galaxy began to develop inside of me, a spiral of vitality unwinding at breakneck speed, a budding flower of love opening up its petals.
A day before conception a no less noteworthy event took place; we ascended Moses’ holy mountain – Sinai.
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It was twilight when our journey to the summit began. We were going to meet the sunrise to be wedded and have our union blessed by Ra, the Sun himself. Some Bedouins met us at the foot of the mountain offering to sell us warm clothes. We bought some and let them keep the change to gain favour with the local spirits. It was our gift to that place in the form of money.
We made our way into the centre of the night’s eye. Nothing but rocks around us and a serpentine path as we went up, up and up. Some people didn’t hold out to the end and stopped to rest in small Bedouin huts. Others were short of breath, had headaches and could feel their blood pressure rising. This powerful place cleansed everyone who was in need of it. The local camels moved in a very relaxed manner as if they were floating on air and felt no strain from the ascent or loads on their backs.
With each metre the air became colder and the wind stronger. About half-way into our climb Jonny went a bit further ahead and I was left alone with the Wind. It felt as if it had been tracking me for a long time and had finally chosen this moment to reveal itself. My old lover had come back, as they sometimes do to get nourishment from us, test our resilience and see to what extent we’ve freed ourselves from them. And if we give in they take our female power.
The Wind wanted me to show it my vitality. It roared so strongly that I felt that I would fall off the mountain edge any second. I noticed that the energy of primal fear had awakened from deep inside my belly. And there, a metre away from me, a huge boulder caught my eye with a small hollow of safety in its centre. I squeezed myself into it with such force that I almost managed to get my whole body inside it. At that moment the stone seemed like plasticine to me, which I could use as a duvet to cover myself with. I pressed my whole body into it so as not to be carried away by the Wind.