Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения
Шрифт:
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth (у меня желтые зубы), what do I do? (что мне делать)
Dentist: Wear a brown tie! (носите коричневый галстук; to wear [w(r)])
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
What do I do?
Patient: My hair keeps falling out (мои
Doctor: A shoebox (коробку от ботинок).
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
Doctor: A shoebox.
My hair keeps falling out.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? (что представляется проблемой)
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling (доктор, у меня постоянно такое чувство: «продолжаю получать чувство») that nobody can hear what I say (что никто не слышит, что я говорю).
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
What seems to be the trouble?
Doctor: You're in good health (вы совершенно здоровы: "вы в добром здравии"; health [hel]). You'll live to be eighty (вы доживете до 80).
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now (но доктор, мне сейчас 80).
Doctor: See, what did I tell you (видите, что я вам говорил).
Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
You're in good health.
See, what did I tell you.
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem (у меня серьезная проблема с памятью; serious ['srs]; memory ['memr]). I can't remember anything! (я ничего не могу запомнить, вспомнить)
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem? (так, с какого времени у вас эта проблема)
Patient: What problem? (какая проблема)
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?
Patient: What problem?
I can't remember anything!
A man, after being hurt (человек,
Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance! (вызовите мне скорую помощь / назовите меня скорой помощью — игра слов: to call — вызывать/называть; ambulance ['aembjulns])
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance! (вы — скорая помощь)
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!
Call me an ambulance!
A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes (ударник, уставший от всех шуток про ударников), decides to change his instrument (решает сменить инструмент). After some thought (после некоторого раздумья), he decides on the accordion (он выбирает аккордеон). So he goes to the music store (и он идет в музыкальный магазин) and says to the owner (и говорит хозяину), "I'd like to look at the accordions, please (я хочу взглянуть на аккордеоны, пожалуйста)."
The owner gestures (указывает) to a shelf in the corner (на полку в углу) and says, "All our accordions are over there (все наши аккордеоны вон там)."
After browsing (после беглого рассматривания; browse — молодые побеги; to browse — ощипывать листья, молодые побеги; пролистывать, небрежно просматривать), the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner (я думаю, мне подойдет большой красный в углу)."
The store owner looks at him (смотрит на него) and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you? (вы ударник, не так ли)"
The drummer, crestfallen (упавший духом: crest — гребешок /петуха/ + to fall — падать), says, "How did you know? (как вы узнали)"
The store owner says, "That 'big red accordion' is the radiator (тот большой красный аккордеон — радиатор; radiator [raed'et(r)])."
A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument.
After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please."
The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says, "All our accordions are over there."
After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner."
The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?"