Conflicts in the family
Шрифт:
Psychology and psychiatry are absolutely two different branches of science, where psychology is aimed at understanding conscious processes, and psychiatry considers at the level of organic processes in the brain, that is, psychiatry belongs to the field of medicine. In different countries, psychiatry is classified in such negative sections that people are afraid to even voice this word.
After the prologue
The family, where we include all those who were indicated in the list above, and then we will consider further on the list, has, in addition to living under the same roof or meeting on different major holidays, also smoldering conflicts more often than with strangers.
The same conflict on the same topic between husband and wife, parents and children, grandparents and relatives occurs in completely different ways. Due to the fact that they are different subjects of the conflict, have different goals and different economic ties with each other, they are arranged differently and live differently from the point of view of the economy. Yes, yes, and here commodity-money relations affect the cell of society.
For example, children are cornered when they have a conflict in the family with their parents, because they are economically dependent on their parents, they can't just pack up and go to live with their mother, because they already live with their mother.
However, the departure of children from home is accompanied by very high risks, when you have to include search engines, the police, and friends in solving the problem. This is a big problem, because due to the fact that children are not yet adults, not only because they do not work, but also cognitive abilities, that is, mental abilities, are different. They think differently, and it is not easy for them to survive in an adult environment where the laws of adults, invented by adults, apply, sometimes it is simply dangerous.
Finding children who have run away from their families is always accompanied by great emotions and risks, and this problem must be solved immediately.
In addition to relatives, the book includes one chapter that relates to conflict with friends. This is a rather difficult problem, which is also complicated by the fact that we sometimes treat friends differently, not like strangers, but, if not quite to our own, but close to it. Such conflicts are specific and always require a special approach.
We will also look at the main reasons, which are almost always the same when conflicts arise. Man, despite the complexity of his structure and the structure of the psyche, he is primitive, he has not changed for thousands of years, and those issues that have worried him for a long time are still worrying now.
You can read ancient dialogues that have been preserved, ancient history concerning human relationships, and more thoroughly study the fiction of the Middle Ages and the beginning of the nineteenth century in Russia, which is closer and more understandable for us. It will become clear that all the vices that modern society has, they existed even then. Of course, you need to read between the lines and understand the structure of communication, but regardless of the development of technology, a person does not change. We may even be worse off than we originally intended.
The emergence of new technologies does not change a person, they change the ways of communication, but internally people are the same as in the time of King Solomon or the times of other civilizations, about the existence of which we do not know what we can know, but do not know at all.
Man and humanity itself emerged much earlier than they begin to study in schools, starting with the study of Ancient Egypt, which represents a rather short time, compared to the total amount of time of human development.
These comments are important to understand how we will view conflicts, including conflicts in families and conflicts with relatives.
Labor and political conflicts will not be considered here, but, if only in passing, superficially. Because completely isolating the family from society is impossible in principle, it is simply impossible. Society affects the family, the family affects the person, but sometimes the person also affects the family, which subsequently affects society. The sequence can be different, and in different combinations and intensities.
People are waiting for paradise, but the presence of conflicts prevents them from feeling it during their lifetime. At the heart of any other conflict is an interpersonal conflict, and it pulls the train of all others. We will repeatedly address the main cause of all conflicts – these are different views on the world, on the world in the understanding of the universe.
The solution to many conflicts is to come to a common denominator, as in arithmetic. If it happens there automatically, at the level of clearly derived algorithms, it does not work with a person, a person is too complex a being, almost inexplicable.
If we start studying the workings of the brain, we will encounter a big problem when in reality we do not know how the human brain works and how human consciousness is created. If we can't say this for sure even with the current development of technology, then the interval of variations, that is, the interval of predestination of human actions, becomes quite large.
This is when one small change in a person's mood can affect his fate so much that the most powerful circumstances could not affect it.
The problem with a large number of conflicts is that people change, get an education, become sufficiently educated specialists, but for the household they will always remain conditionally "Kolenka" or "Olechka", and his opinion will have weight according to his age in his eyes, when he was 15 or 17 years old.
A large number of children leave home after finishing school, study, get a job, reach big bosses, but at home they are remembered for their parents and even brothers, as at the age of seventeen he fell off the fence on New Year's Day, for example.