The Power of Time

Миллер Павел

– Yes, you are correct.

– Since we have met, let me help you to bring them home. Do me a favor and let me give you assistance.

Svetlana said herself again: “Don’t be surprised!” She did not know why she answered:

I would be delighted to accept your offer, but you have enough things to carry yourself. Plus, I am sure you are being waited for at home.

The man started to think, and she noticed that when he suggested help he did not even ask her name.

I got an idea! You can wait for me for about ten minutes, I will bring the groceries home. Then we can shop for what you need and I’ll help you to bring your bags home, ok?

Listening to him, Svetlana did not even know what do say. She became confused, astonished by such attention and care from the stranger. Svetlana made a conclusion, that he is a regular person, just like everyone else; she just never noticed anything before. “May be all people are attentive and caring? Or may be some of them? – Svetlana thought. – All these years I did not see the care. I am not used to such treatment. And now it happened to me".

– Ok, I’ go. Please wait for me, ok?

He walked away fast, and Svetlana thought, looking at him “What if he does not come back?!”. Then the stranger turned around the corner, everything inside went down. She could not understand what was wrong with her again. She was worried, as if she had lost something very precious. To stop anxiety, which overwhelmed her so suddenly, Svetlana caught breath, stood still for some time and entered the store. She looked at the shelves with devastation and was making purchases. She realized that she got two bags of groceries. How is she going to bring them home if she does not get help? Fifteen minutes had passed, but the man was absent. Svetlana left the store and was walking slowly and carefully towards her house. She felt someone touching her elbow and she stopped.

– I got here, and you are leaving.

– Oh, I thought that you changed your mind about coming to help.

– No, no! How could I promise something to such a woman and then not keep a promise?! It is not what a real man would do!

The expression “real man” was frustrating to Svetlana. It seemed that men say it to women to show that women are incapable of doing things; that men can do everything, and women – nothing. She decided that if the person was underestimated he would have a lot of achievements in life. This is where the strength is! If the person disappoints oneself and other people it is something very bad, even dumb to do to yourself.

– What do you mean by a “real man?” – she still asked.

– If you promised something, keep your word; if you can’t make it, don’t give promises. This expression is applicable to women too, but traditionally it goes with the word “man”. The question who is the man and who is the woman comes up automatically, as well as what is the difference between these words. The answer is not complicated here either.

– So how should the women express themselves? Should we admit our weakness? Cry constantly and ask for help? Not know how to survive without a man?

– You got it all wrong. Every man is trying to make a woman strong and independent. He wants her to be a proud personality, not a weak and helpless one. Some men don’t even have it themselves – they are weak spiritually and welter in vice.

– So what is love then? – Svetlana asked near the porch, not being able to keep this question inside.

– Probably, no one can answer that question. I believe that it is the most wonderful and superior feeling. You are free from all chains and reaching perfection. You can feel people from the inside, see them through and know what worries them, what tortures them, creates an obstacle to reach this light sensation. At that moment you can give them what they need, and it is absolutely unimportant what it is. That is done to set them free and let them find the path to the light you have. Tortures and concerns will be gone; they will be positive that they are on the right path. When the person enters this road, everything is clear and transparent, and he will be able to help others with confidence. Such person feels himself perfect, mostly spiritually, of course, but still keeps asking the same question: “What is love?” However, at this point it is difficult to determine why he is asking it. Either he did not understand that feeling completely, or it passed him by unnoticed.

XIV

Only one week is left before the gypsum will be taken off. Max felt himself much better: he started to read more and studied even more then it was required from the school program… However, he was still weak, so he decided to follow a day regime: go to bed at ten pm and wake up at eight am. Sitting on the bed, he completed exercises, then he took his crutch and limped to the tourniquet. Only after a week of intensive work-out he could chin up five times and do ten push ups. Even thought the head was spinning, he kept of working, squeezing teeth and overcoming weakness and pain. Yes, it was very challenging; he had to have rest each time for about an hour, so he was taking a nap. Maxim was also reading a lot, not letting tiredness win him over. All that was draining him out but he felt how energy was coming back. He is getting stronger with each day and thoughts become clearer. Max realized that independent study brings a much better result. He can achieve his small, but very difficult goal without any assistance. Then he was making another goal, more complicated one, and everything started all over again. Task was time-consuming and laborious, hard, but necessary, and most importantly – giving a result. Maxim’s main goal was to have a result. At first a result could be small, but very soon it will let him achieve a long hoped aim. Working on yourself, Maxim understood that he is getting stronger physically, mentally and spiritually. Every time when he had a little victory, he understood better what was possible for him to do. He did what he could do, and leaned to do what he couldn’t, and as a result it was also done. He started to believe in himself. Plans broadened and became more complex, faith in his abilities grew stronger. He knew that he could achieve much better then he thought previously.

Max accessed the problem of love closer and started to feel it deeper, seeing its purity and chastity. He realized that he lacked knowledge in psychology, parapsychology and even psychotherapy. He was planning to study these subjects in order to determine how the human being is being affected by emotions and what causes emotions. How are words and actions connected with emotions? How can a person control feelings and emotions, how can he affect people with them invisibly? There was one question that had Maxim’s priority interest: how to control person’s feelings let them grow to the maximum and tightly reach a person’s problem, like the heart? To feel the essence of the loved woman: her breath, her heart beat, her actions, thoughts, words – absolutely everything! He wanted to perceive a psychological problem by himself and to take a decision, when, where and under which circumstances it is necessary to act to eliminate that problem and let love move to the right direction.

Every day and every hour made it more clearly for Max that he needed to have a child from the woman he loved. It is necessary to concentrate all strength of their love in one moment, all strength of Svetlana’s previous pain for creating a strong psychological pressure on her. Everything that bothered her for ten years and lead to the car acceded, everything that became an obstacle for achievement of her dream. Maxim was tortured by the thought that Svetlana became reconciled with inevitability and was making the goal even more difficult to achieve. He was looking for a connection between him and Svetlana, and the only thing that he could find was love. Max understood that his feelings consolidated in him long time ago, and it is getting stronger and more spiritual. That means that with assistance of that power it is possible to reach even the most impossible! He has been wondering many times about the reasons why Svetlana loves him. When he started to study psychology he realized, that she saw purity and chastity in him, just like he saw it at the New Year night. That means that she already loves him greatly. The main questing is how to control the situation and create conditions much stronger then a car accident?

Maxim moved abruptly and got burned with hot tea again, but did not even feel the pain. His heart contracted. He stopped breathing and held to the wall to get himself together. He thought that his heart would jump out of the chest after he had realized what he needed to do. All of the sudden his tired brain produced the answer to the most difficult question! These thoughts were a result of the long and laborious mental work. They were supposed to calm him down; however, they almost made him loose consciousness. After catching up breath, Max covered his face with hands and could not believe in what he would have to do. He should be able to realize it right away! He needs to become a better person. Svetlana needs to see his best qualities to believe in their feelings and become completely dissolved in it! This should be her life credo. She won’t be able to live without it. Svetlana needs to reach apogee of her feelings with his help, while Maxim needs to destroy the strength of all efforts, feelings and everything else in one moment. Specifically, in one moment! On top of that, this moment must affect Svetlana psychologically more, then the car accident did. In this case, she will be able to have a child from her husband, and her love won’t be gone like her dream to have a baby and happiness once did. It is necessary to guide love in the necessary direction, so that Svetlana would love her husband, her son and a future baby! It’s not important, weather it will be a boy or a girl. It is necessary for everything to go according to the plan. After this important moment, which holds the essence of the plan, Max must disappear from her life, but where and how he does not know yet. Love will fade with time. If he does not disappear right away, then all his efforts would turn into the waste of time: there won’t be a baby and happiness! Maxim was analyzing his new role. He was not surprised that thoughts were flying in his head very fast. This is why he understood that he had very little time for his plan. To disappear does not mean to leave. It means to set yourself free from love to Svetlana; not now, and not later, but at the time of the important moment.